Saturday, February 4, 2012


Lately I have felt as though there is something missing in my life.  I really can't tell you what it is because I have no clue.  There seems to be this empty or lost feeling I have had and I am not too sure why.  I know that I have definitely been missing my husband.  This new job has had him on the road a lot these past few weeks and it has been rough on me.  I'm used to having the exact same work schedule and sleeping at the same times and always being able to eat dinner together, etc.  I don't want to take away from his joy with this new job by complaining, but it most definitely is going to take some time getting used to.  I'm trying to be patient and understanding! I promise!!  I am starting to get "baby fever" and maybe that is what I feel I am missing.  So many of my friends are having babies and starting families.  I definitely want children and Jon and I have talked about the idea, but I think we are both nervous about it.  It's scary to think that one day we could be in charge of another person's life for at least 18 years!  We are in the right place...we have been together for 6 years, married for nearly a year, own a home, both work and make decent money...but is that enough...doesn't it take more than that?  Is my urge to want to have a child just to fill a void?  I really don't know!  Am I feeling empty or lost because I have not put forth a lot of effort these days to really develop my relationship with God?  I have prayed about this a lot, but is there more I am supposed to be doing?  I wish I had the answers.  I wish someone had the answers.  I know that with time answers will come, but I am a planner, I want to know what lies ahead.  I need to know what to expect.  What is missing?

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