heavy heart

I'm writing this post with a very heavy heart.  Today my mom called twice, within 15 minutes of one another, and I knew then that something was wrong.  She unfortunately informed me that my cousin had passed away.   All that she knew was that Jonathan had committed suicide and it was a shock to everyone in our family.   Jonathan was always a sweet guy with a big smile on his face.  His sister, Genna, and I were roommates at one time and have been good friends our entire lives.  I am still in disbelief that this has happened.  I called to talk to my grandmother and to find out what exactly was going on or what had happened.  I still have a lot of questions unanswered.  I think a lot of us have a lot of questions that are unanswered and will remain that way.   This was out of no where.

I don't understand suicide.  There have been many people I have known in my lifetime that have committed suicide and I don't think I will ever understand.  Every time I find myself angry at the person for committing such a selfish act and I am deeply saddened for the family.   I never would have thought of Jonathan as one that would do this.  All that I know to do is turn to God and pray.  To pray for Genna during this hard time and ask Him to bring her peace and comfort.  Pray for Jonathan's mother, Ginny, that she will one day understand why she had to lose a child.     I hope that this terrible tragedy opens more peoples eyes and hearts, helps people to realize how important it is to be there for others, to express your love and concern for others.   I know that it has reminded me of just how short life truly is and how important it is to let our loved ones know just how important they are to us.

RIP Jonathan Thibodeaux